Which Is About Sinking Into the Thicker Mud

05/03/2006 6:55 AM – 7:18 AM

There is no single fixed point. The fixity of any given point is determined by perception of the ghost in the machine, the god on a line. Trying so hard to make sense of reality, reality becomes senseless. Just fix the moment in your mind. There is a time for everything, everything holds in time. Am I making sense? Then I’m trying too hard.

But then, where’s the wrong? Are you worried about holding unearned pride? What holds it? Are you worried that everyone will find out that you’re faking it? You are. Be content with that, because it’s all that you can do. Ask the questions until nothing makes sense, then ask the questions until nothing is wrong, then ask the questions until it’s just all right. Let it go. What are you letting go of? I don’t know. I just know that I have to keep telling myself that. Let go of your life, perhaps. Let go of right and wrong. Let go of pride and humility. Let go of two. Let go of one. Let go. Just let go. Flow into the stream. The stream flows into the river. The river flows into the sea. Don’t name it, just be it. Or name it and realize that it’s fine. The hardest path does not make it the best. The easiest path does not make it the most pleasant. It’s just this path. It’s just this whole life, lived in one second. It’s just the in-breath and the out-breath and pause between.

You can’t know, not in that way that you think you want, think you need. You can collect data, but what does it add up to? Only believe what you can’t not believe. There is light in the morning and darkness at night. There is only a burst of energy and then the return to this. There is only letting go and growing up. There is only the growing down into deep earth, into the food and water. Let it go and go. Running, we cannot see. Seeing we cannot process. It’s all running. It’s all seeing. Let the world run. Let the ghost sink down into the creekbed and scuttle about with the crayfish and minnows. Where are you? What can’t you let go of? Let go of it and come back to this moment. Notice that you exist. Notice it again. What are you saving for yourself? Let it go. It will only tear you apart. If you can’t, don’t worry. After you’ve been torn apart, your pieces will settle on the surface and slowly, one by one, sink down into the water, and there you are, once again, playing with your crayfish and building dams of smooth, round stones. It’s just this, dude. Whatever this is, it’s only this. Follow soft delight wherever it goes, sinking down farther and farther into the thicker mud. Be content. This is enough. This’ll do, boy. This’ll do. And there is nothing better than that.