The One with the List of Things to Meditate On

04/19/2006 8:03 AM – 8:27 AM

- finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is anything worthy of praise, on these you should meditate – and that’s Paul, and they beat us over the head with it, not realizing that it held the keys to escaping them. God bless ‘em, they’re even more stupid than I.

Your faith is as the idiot’s screams as they walk down Elmwood in the wee small hours. It’s got excellent internal constancy; it just doesn’t apply to anything that actually exists. But that’s half-lie. The truth is that this silly codshell of ego doesn’t know what to make of the thing it holds. Unlike Freud, it cannot shake the belief of its mother. Unlike Lewis, it has no good arguments to give for it. Hey, I’m alive. That’s all it can say. But forget the I. The only way to make it happy is to take away its worry. The only way to take away its worry is to distract it.

Which brings us back to the opening. True, noble, just, pure, lovely, good report, praiseworthy. How much of existence is not any of these things? How much ego should one have? The lesser Suzuki said, “just enough not to step in front of a bus.” Whatsoever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, worthy of praise. How does it all work? How does it all fit together? Can I trust it or will it drop me once I put all my weight on it and set it in motion? There is no I in team. Just one in win. There is no you in team. Just one in fuck. You think it matters? You think you matter to you? You don’t matter to you. Only true, noble, just, pure, lovely, good report, praiseworthy matter to you. You wouldn’t care who ate the apple as long as you got to taste its flavor and use its calories. I want to be happy. And the only word that matters, the only thing in that sentence that describes something desirable is happy. Forget the I. It will soon be dead. Forget the to be. Only now exists. Remember, holdfast, focus, meditate, apprehend – all the Pauline words and a few more – only happy. If you think it’s idiotic, all the better, because only an idiot could.