Which Is About the Fish Not Knowing What Water Is

04/24/2006 3:51 PM – 4:12 PM

And where is he? He’s here. The pain in the pit of my stomach that tells me that there’s still hope. Always the hope. Though he slay me, yet will I praise him. It’s better this way. The light dawn of sadness. Let it melt away. Let the spring thaw begin; let my heart melt to joy, unadorned with this taint of feathery depression.

Save me again, oh God. Save me again. Though I cannot see you. Though I cannot discern the true voice inside me, whether it is just me or just you. Come back to my bed and rock my fear asleep forever more. Is there no comfort in Zion? Or perhaps I have not found my way there yet. Where is the sure map? Where is heaven now? So I sit down and type. Will I write away the drabness of existence? Let me lose myself. Let me be better than I am right now. Comfort me, oh Comforter of Paul and Koholeth. Let me lose this thing that is me in the immensity of the eternal me. Let the me that is me and only me, find it’s own real voice. There is no me. There is only me. Not one, just one. Not two, not one.

When the light comes down on the timeless let this be said, Spike found his own true happiness. Spike found the comfort of the quiet that was God’s voice to him. Is that what you must learn today? If your God speaks the language of silence, learn to speak it in return. What are you living? What is this that rolls about inside you? Say it with the words of no-words. Let me down to the bottom of the true Pacific. Let me sink into the warmth of no-dream sleep, breathing the unknowable eternal. The man said that faith believes that God cares when there is no sign of it. If God speaks the language of stillness, Spike must learn to hear it. Let go. Open your hands. Hold fast no longer. Let the waves overwhelm and sink down to the quiet that surrounds and fills. The fish has no concept of water. Recognize that you have no concept of God. Let go and sink to the bottom. Rest in strength. Rejoice in peace. Your God surrounds and fills. You cannot find him because you cannot conceive of genuine not-him. In him you live and move and have your being. Your God speaks peace. Peace then. Let go and sink into the unspeakable peace.