On Finding Stillness Even When Your Excited

04/28/2006 7:51 AM – 8:14 AM

My focus is nonexistent. My mind is racing through happy courses. My mindfulness is crap. Except that I’m noticing that my mind is racing. The monkey is having a field day. The turtle, well, I’m not quite sure what the hell the turtle is doing. This is a problem, I suppose. Happiness arising from circumstances. Desire running rampant.

I can see so many things just because I have a chance to do something. Where am I? I’m ten thousand places. I’m not just a monkey, I’m a monkey on six cups of coffee. And so be it. It will calm down eventually. Just remember, oh Spike, contentment is found only in the subtle layers. Peace in the deep, deep down. Manic energy is fun, but it is exhausting. Be careful of being exhausted. When you get exhausted, your mind does bad things. So go ahead, enjoy this bit of excitement, but hold back that foundation. Be who you are, remember even in the fast, fast, fast that you must retain the deep stillness. So let go. Be, but keep your wits about you.

In case you forget, this has nothing to do with a girl. This is the thought of finding a place to live for one more year. This is the thought of fixing up your room, building a workbench, buying a motorcycle. All these things can be taken away. Delight in them, but remember that the strength of joy comes from recognizing your gratitude for existence. The light on the budding leaves, the thick shadows of the cool dawn, the blue of the sky that pulls your chest towards the higher winds. What is it that cannot be taken away? In this, invest your energy. Only the underlying stillness that is the fluidity of the thankful mind. Walk. Sit. Be. Recognize that you are alive. Remember that salvation cannot be earned. Nor can hell. Both must be given. You cannot earn peace, only find it. Sell all that you may buy peace. Let go. Place none of your weight on those things that moth and dust may corrupt and thieves may break in and steal. Delight in their presence, but be willing to delight in their absence. The bell has rung. So stop typing, find a picture, take a shower and go to work. Remember always peace. Okay, I’m finished. Go.