Interview (Maybe?) Questions
4/29/2010 12:03 PM – 12:26 PM
Oh, Lordy. What I want, what I always want when I sit down and write these things is a cigarette. It’s the 6 years or so of repetitive action. Sit, write, smoke. That’s the order. I just got home from what I don’t quite know what to call it. Normally, I would be sitting in the stairwell going through a smoke or seven.
I mentioned to one of my co-workers that I enjoyed woodworking and wished that I could do that instead of washing dishes. She said that I should talk to her dad, because he runs a cabinetmaking shop. So I did. It got delayed a couple of times but today was the day when it finally occurred. She wasn’t exactly clear about whether we were just going out to the shop to see it or if I was interviewing for a job. It is now two hours later and I still don’t know. Don’t get me wrong – Dude was cool. I’m just not sure if we had an intense conversation or a job interview. And now my head is very fuzzy and I want to take a nap.
If it was an interview, I don’t have a clue how I did. I’m pretty sure the dude didn’t consider that the point anyway. He used the phrase “military-industrial complex” both ironically and in earnest. He asked me what I wanted and I was pretty sure he wasn’t asking in a “phrase your response in such a way as to make this job that I’m considering you for sound like a goddamn answer to lifelong prayer.” I hate those interview questions. “No. No, really. This position of scrubbing floors with my fingernails is everything that I’ve ever wanted my life to be and I believe that I was genetically designed for just this task. If I didn’t have to pay rent, I’d demand that you pay me – that’s how much I love this job.” Fuck you. No. The reason that I’m looking to get this shitty job, and make no mistake, this is a shitty of shitty jobs is because I don’t want to be homeless and I feel very bad about living off the dole. The cabinetmaking job wouldn’t have been shitty. Probably would have been cool. I’m probably not going to be working there. Or maybe I am. Maybe I got hired and just didn’t realize it. So what do I want? What sprang to mind but I did not answer was, “I want to live in the woods and be left alone and not feel compelled to answer questions in a way that paints me in a favorable light.” I’m a selfish, hermit bastard most of the time. I do not find this emotionally unfulfilling really. Just financially impossible. If I were to answer questions honestly, the vast majority of people would find me offensive. We live in a fairly civil society. I want to live in the woods. I want to live in the woods and not be compelled to answer questions civilly. Or at all. That’s what I really want.
Oh, Lordy. What I want, what I always want when I sit down and write these things is a cigarette. It’s the 6 years or so of repetitive action. Sit, write, smoke. That’s the order. I just got home from what I don’t quite know what to call it. Normally, I would be sitting in the stairwell going through a smoke or seven.
I mentioned to one of my co-workers that I enjoyed woodworking and wished that I could do that instead of washing dishes. She said that I should talk to her dad, because he runs a cabinetmaking shop. So I did. It got delayed a couple of times but today was the day when it finally occurred. She wasn’t exactly clear about whether we were just going out to the shop to see it or if I was interviewing for a job. It is now two hours later and I still don’t know. Don’t get me wrong – Dude was cool. I’m just not sure if we had an intense conversation or a job interview. And now my head is very fuzzy and I want to take a nap.
If it was an interview, I don’t have a clue how I did. I’m pretty sure the dude didn’t consider that the point anyway. He used the phrase “military-industrial complex” both ironically and in earnest. He asked me what I wanted and I was pretty sure he wasn’t asking in a “phrase your response in such a way as to make this job that I’m considering you for sound like a goddamn answer to lifelong prayer.” I hate those interview questions. “No. No, really. This position of scrubbing floors with my fingernails is everything that I’ve ever wanted my life to be and I believe that I was genetically designed for just this task. If I didn’t have to pay rent, I’d demand that you pay me – that’s how much I love this job.” Fuck you. No. The reason that I’m looking to get this shitty job, and make no mistake, this is a shitty of shitty jobs is because I don’t want to be homeless and I feel very bad about living off the dole. The cabinetmaking job wouldn’t have been shitty. Probably would have been cool. I’m probably not going to be working there. Or maybe I am. Maybe I got hired and just didn’t realize it. So what do I want? What sprang to mind but I did not answer was, “I want to live in the woods and be left alone and not feel compelled to answer questions in a way that paints me in a favorable light.” I’m a selfish, hermit bastard most of the time. I do not find this emotionally unfulfilling really. Just financially impossible. If I were to answer questions honestly, the vast majority of people would find me offensive. We live in a fairly civil society. I want to live in the woods. I want to live in the woods and not be compelled to answer questions civilly. Or at all. That’s what I really want.
posted by Spike at 9:33 AM
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