The "And Sin Not" Part
2/27/2010 8:05 AM – 8:27 AM
I’m writing almost according to schedule. I woke up at 7:20 this morning. Without sleeping pills, I fell asleep by 11:20 last night. Yesterday, I went to work feeling a little sore from shoveling, by the three hour mark, I felt a lot sore and very tired. But I made it all the way through the work day. I only got pissed a little.
It might be easier, as far as instructions go, if we were told to “be not angry.” But it doesn’t go that way. It goes, “be angry and sin not.” I still don’t know how to do that. It might be easier to simply resign ourselves to the situation and say, “oh well, no point in being angry.” Actually, that is what I do a lot. I find myself mad and, usually not liking the feeling, I try to distract myself and get back to a more resigned state. I might still do that for a while. But there is a point where you realize that you’re not just being pissy for no good reason, something is wrong and some action should be taken.
If it’s my fault, I can look at it and try to figure out how to change. It might take years, but it’s possible to work on it. But when the fault doesn’t lie with me, I have no idea what to do. My boss is not a very good boss. He’s not evil. He just wants to do what little he can and then get the hell home. So do I. The difference is, I’m not paid to manage anyone other than myself. I work hard my whole shift. Do I waste time? Sure. Everyone does. It’s not an excuse. It’s a statement of fact. But I act like my job is my job. I work hard and come home and try to earn my paycheck. For the past 6 years, every job that I’ve had, my boss has appreciated that fact. I’ve gotten good reviews. I don’t at this job. I do not know how to deal with this. I don’t like being angry but I don’t know how to change the situation other than leaving. At first, I thought it was just me. I worked hard to get the extensive list of things that need to get done, done in the eight hours that I’m scheduled to be there. It doesn’t fit. At some point, about six months ago, I said, “fuck it. I do the job and ignore the boss.” So I do. But the boss is still there, being a bad boss and telling me, in a very round-about way that can be denied or asserted depending on the situation, what a horrible job I’m doing. Be angry and sin not. “Sin not” seems to imply that one should act, just not sinfully. This is a tall order, and I do not know how to start. Well, poo.
I’m writing almost according to schedule. I woke up at 7:20 this morning. Without sleeping pills, I fell asleep by 11:20 last night. Yesterday, I went to work feeling a little sore from shoveling, by the three hour mark, I felt a lot sore and very tired. But I made it all the way through the work day. I only got pissed a little.
It might be easier, as far as instructions go, if we were told to “be not angry.” But it doesn’t go that way. It goes, “be angry and sin not.” I still don’t know how to do that. It might be easier to simply resign ourselves to the situation and say, “oh well, no point in being angry.” Actually, that is what I do a lot. I find myself mad and, usually not liking the feeling, I try to distract myself and get back to a more resigned state. I might still do that for a while. But there is a point where you realize that you’re not just being pissy for no good reason, something is wrong and some action should be taken.
If it’s my fault, I can look at it and try to figure out how to change. It might take years, but it’s possible to work on it. But when the fault doesn’t lie with me, I have no idea what to do. My boss is not a very good boss. He’s not evil. He just wants to do what little he can and then get the hell home. So do I. The difference is, I’m not paid to manage anyone other than myself. I work hard my whole shift. Do I waste time? Sure. Everyone does. It’s not an excuse. It’s a statement of fact. But I act like my job is my job. I work hard and come home and try to earn my paycheck. For the past 6 years, every job that I’ve had, my boss has appreciated that fact. I’ve gotten good reviews. I don’t at this job. I do not know how to deal with this. I don’t like being angry but I don’t know how to change the situation other than leaving. At first, I thought it was just me. I worked hard to get the extensive list of things that need to get done, done in the eight hours that I’m scheduled to be there. It doesn’t fit. At some point, about six months ago, I said, “fuck it. I do the job and ignore the boss.” So I do. But the boss is still there, being a bad boss and telling me, in a very round-about way that can be denied or asserted depending on the situation, what a horrible job I’m doing. Be angry and sin not. “Sin not” seems to imply that one should act, just not sinfully. This is a tall order, and I do not know how to start. Well, poo.
posted by Spike at 5:31 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home