02/17/10
2/17/2010 9:58 AM – 10:18 AM
I did sit today and my muscles don’t feel too sore from lifting yesterday. I overslept which is weird because I actually woke up before my alarm clock went off and turned on the coffee. Then, two and a half hours later I finally got out of bed and started my day. I sort of want to start running today, but I’m not going to. March, I guess.
I’m thinking about marathons again. Of course, I’m not actually running, so it’s easy to think about them. If I started running in March, I’d have about eight months to build up to it. Maybe the Wineglass. It’s home. It’s mostly flat. That’d be nice. My life would be seriously abbreviated if I started to train for a marathon. Well, it would be in the two months leading up to the race. I have many things going through my mind since yesterday morning. After this, I’m going to go look up college degree programs again. Daydream a little. I need to get a hold of the student loan people. They didn’t with-draw my payment last month. I’ll have to set that up again, I guess. I need to call my mom. I need to eat less crap food.
It’s cold outside and the sky is a light gray. It makes the trees look darker. I’m not to the point where I’m insisting that it become spring tomorrow. I’ve actually been enjoying the winter days. Part of it is that the days are finally getting noticeably longer, despite the cold and snow. No word back yet from the doctor’s office. I hope it’s not like it was in Buffalo, where they simply never responded. But this time I’ve got insurance and I’m going to get a check-up, damn it. I’m almost coming to peace with the fact that aside from the new guy on the morning crew, I’m the only person that busts his ass at work. I need a new job. I say that and yet I don’t apply for any. I look, but I don’t apply. So much effort to be told: “we like your enthusiasm but we’ve decided to go with someone who has experience.” Sometimes, I’m startled by how much I loathe the efficiency of a system that I consider most desirable because of the products of its efficiency. There is an odd contradictory set of ideas in my head – I want a better job, but if I start to look for a better job, it feels as if I’m giving up on the idea of being a writer. But a better job wouldn’t necessarily take up more time. Might take up less. And I might finally be able to afford a car which would finally free me from the whims of those with cars. Or, rather, let me participate more freely in the activities of those who do have cars and still be free to leave when I wish. Or cruel reality. Trees are moving. Think they’re planning to attack.
I did sit today and my muscles don’t feel too sore from lifting yesterday. I overslept which is weird because I actually woke up before my alarm clock went off and turned on the coffee. Then, two and a half hours later I finally got out of bed and started my day. I sort of want to start running today, but I’m not going to. March, I guess.
I’m thinking about marathons again. Of course, I’m not actually running, so it’s easy to think about them. If I started running in March, I’d have about eight months to build up to it. Maybe the Wineglass. It’s home. It’s mostly flat. That’d be nice. My life would be seriously abbreviated if I started to train for a marathon. Well, it would be in the two months leading up to the race. I have many things going through my mind since yesterday morning. After this, I’m going to go look up college degree programs again. Daydream a little. I need to get a hold of the student loan people. They didn’t with-draw my payment last month. I’ll have to set that up again, I guess. I need to call my mom. I need to eat less crap food.
It’s cold outside and the sky is a light gray. It makes the trees look darker. I’m not to the point where I’m insisting that it become spring tomorrow. I’ve actually been enjoying the winter days. Part of it is that the days are finally getting noticeably longer, despite the cold and snow. No word back yet from the doctor’s office. I hope it’s not like it was in Buffalo, where they simply never responded. But this time I’ve got insurance and I’m going to get a check-up, damn it. I’m almost coming to peace with the fact that aside from the new guy on the morning crew, I’m the only person that busts his ass at work. I need a new job. I say that and yet I don’t apply for any. I look, but I don’t apply. So much effort to be told: “we like your enthusiasm but we’ve decided to go with someone who has experience.” Sometimes, I’m startled by how much I loathe the efficiency of a system that I consider most desirable because of the products of its efficiency. There is an odd contradictory set of ideas in my head – I want a better job, but if I start to look for a better job, it feels as if I’m giving up on the idea of being a writer. But a better job wouldn’t necessarily take up more time. Might take up less. And I might finally be able to afford a car which would finally free me from the whims of those with cars. Or, rather, let me participate more freely in the activities of those who do have cars and still be free to leave when I wish. Or cruel reality. Trees are moving. Think they’re planning to attack.
posted by Spike at 7:20 AM
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