On Not Tame Lions

06/14/2008 7:11 AM – 7:34 AM

And my own personal “God-In-the-Gaps” theory rests in three points in time and came about as a matter of taste: something can’t come from nothing, life can’t come from non-life and consciousness can’t come from non-consciousness. Those gaps will probably be filled. Probably soon. Where then is my God?

He’s where He was when I can’t find any rational or emotion reason to believe in Him, which is the same place he is when His nearness and grace are undeniable no matter how much I wish to doubt. My feeling does not change the nature of God anymore than my feeling changed the fact of evolution back when I was a creationist. The experiments that they’ve done with prayer show, when properly conducted with blinds and control groups, no statistical difference in the results between praying and non-praying. Where then is my God?

He’s where he was when my prayers were answered, the same place he was when my prayers weren’t answered. My state of belief in God’s providence doesn’t change his actions. He does as He wills. He’s not a tame lion. And neither am I. Well, I don’t feel like one anyway. I have no idea if I’m right. I’m not going to convince anyone that my belief is correct. Sometimes I can’t even convince myself. But here is this hand. And here is another. And so I got up early this morning and read and smoked and drank coffee and in another two-and-a-half hours I will be in the starting line at my first race. I do not expect to win the proffered prize for my sex/age-group. I will have run in a race though. All two-hundred and thirty pounds will have made it 3.1 miles on a pair of smoker’s lungs. In public. At a cancer-benefit race. This is no proof of God. This is no proof that I am not a tame lion. But having awakened this morning after a sketchy night’s sleep, I choose to get out of bed and run. I choose to believe in God and the redemptive act of His only begotten Son and of life everlasting. I choose to believe that I am not a tame lion. Proof is not over-rated, but this is not proof. It merely makes me happy.