On the Catechism For Existing

05/10/2006 6:35 AM – 6:56 AM

What’s some good advice? Save more money. Eat less food. Own less stuff. If you need to buy something non-perishable, make sure you have enough money to replace it. Lessen attachment to possessions, because attachment to possessions can only bring fear of their loss.

Recognize that everything is perishable and cherish those few things that you do have so that you can learn to morn and then move on. Forgetting what is behind, I press on. Where are you going? To the grave. What lies beyond? I do not know. Should you fear it? I do not know. Is there comfort? I am alive right now. Why is that a comfort? Because this is good enough for right now. Where is the catechism for existing? From what do we divine the value of the path we’re on? Only from our limited experience of living. Set reason on her throne. Until she runs out of answers. Then let go.

Being no one, going no where, I sit down and sit and I stand up and walk and I sit down and type and I go to work and work and I lie down and sleep and I sit down and eat. Where were you when he laid down the foundations of matter in time? Were you there when he set down the boundaries of light and speed? There is no answer to the great mysteries, but we ask them when we can. Why don’t I fall in love anymore? Will I ever again? Could I live without the possibility? When is right now? I’m sailing along the timestream and I cannot turn around, I cannot slow the current, and I cannot gauge the speed. Even in all of this unknowing, I’m still here. I’m still looking out the same widow at the same street and for this moment, I am content. Where is the fixed point? Where is the Unmoved Mover? Where is the pristine vision? The questions rise. Do I know the answer? Can I discover the answer at this moment? Then I let them go. This is not always the case. There is still time and chance. There is still an end to strength and wisdom. But there is still enough to exist. I stare down at the pewter sphere in the center of the pewter cross that I bought twelve years ago in a market in Ireland. There are no answers in it. Merely that, somehow, it is. Somehow, I am. Somehow, here. Somehow, now. What is good advice? Save more money. Eat less food. Own less stuff. Love whacha got.