Which Is A Further Reifying Of the Primacy of Doubt

03/28/2006 7:13 AM – 7:35 AM

What is it? What is it that you’re looking for? Is it the fact? Is it the emotional experience? Set doubt there. Doubt everything. Even your own being. What will not smash when dropped? What will not break no matter how hard you shake it? Is there anything? We pick up and start again. We remember that all we are doing is noticing that the air comes in and the air goes out.

What is it that there is to fear? Is there death and hell thereafter? Is there marriage and regret thereafter? Who was it that you were waiting for when you decided to settle on the one you were with? Wasn’t it She? There is no She. There is no Spoon. There is only this spoon. There is only this she. Love is transient. Romance is a moment that is gone like the pretty girl on the other side of the counter. The scent of her perfume lingers, and then, it too is gone. There was a moment when you were there. There was a moment when all the universe sang in perfect harmony of your blessed enchantment. But it was only a moment. That moment is gone and a new moment is, creeping in with the air that whistles through your nostrils so amusingly.

She was here and now she’s gone. You were there and now you’re here. Will you give up, give in, settle for what is on your plate? You already have. Are you nothing more than an automotion? Where is your data? Where is your proof? Neither side will win. We cannot know. The act of observing changes the experience. There are no pure experiments. So grow up. Or grow down and let your root obtain food from the dead matter. There is only this and now it’s gone. So be it. So be it because it is and there is no other way. Recognize yourself in the squirrel, dead in the road, so long dead that it can’t rot anymore. Recognize yourself in the boulder in the park, never living, never dying, without joy, without sorrow. Recognize yourself in the hands you see before you. They are your own, but they care nothing for the girl. Feed them through the bloodstream. Wash them when they are dirty. Moisturize them when they are dry. Do not crush them. Do not overwork them. And there is your foot. And there, your knee. If the scientists are right, there is your brain and there your heart. Ask these organs if they care for the girl. What then is it that loves her? What then is it that rejects all others in pursuit of her excellence? Where are you? Where do you reside? Then let it go and be. This breath. This breath. This breath.