In Which I, Spike, Actually Pray

12/22/2006 7:34 AM – 8:06 AM

And so how am I today? I’m actually pretty damn good. After another long day, I was lying in bed reading “New Seeds of Contemplation” and I realized something. Thomas Merton believed that God actually answers prayer. Thomas Merton, the man that wrote “Zen and the Birds of Appetite.” Thomas Merton, not a fruit or flake. Thomas Merton an actual real thinking Christian believed that God answers prayer.

In fact almost all of my Christian heroes believed that God answers prayer, believed that Christianity is more than a brilliant metaphor for the nature of metaphysical reality (though it probably is that too). They believed that they could talk to God and this talking could affect the outcome of actual events. And these were men that could think. These were men that recognized the implications of saying, “God answers prayer.” These were not men that glazed over the fact that very, very, very bad things happen to innocents who prayed and asked that these very, very, very bad things wouldn’t happen. Somehow, these men were able to accept the idea of a God that both intervened in creation and allowed bad things to happen in creation.

Thomas Merton was (well is too, but he’s, like, much more now) much much wiser than I. Thomas Merton knew God in the “One Word that is Spoken is Spoken in Silence” way. But Thomas Merton believed that God heard him and responded to him. Thomas Merton believed that that thing in him which he connected to when he prayed was the Holy Spirit. He was an educated man, he was a smart man, he was a wise man, and yet he prayed. He prayed knowing full well the implications of praying. He knew the difference between a free will and a Sovereign God and yet he still prayed, recognizing how logically absurd the whole thing seemed. Why did he pray? Because Jesus prayed. Because Peter prayed. Because Paul prayed. Because Augustine prayed. Because Aquinas prayed. Because John of the Cross prayed. They all prayed, and I think they knew the problems with believing in the efficacy of prayer, but they prayed anyway. Because when faced with the weight of their existence, they recognized that they couldn’t do it alone, but they felt no shame in that, but neither did they turn out to be creepy mindless Chick Tract-handing out freaks. So. God, save me, please, and help me not to want to smoke so much, and thank you for helping me not smoke so far. I’m totally smoking next December 16^th, but then, hardly ever. Please. For Thine is the Kingdom and Power and Glory for ever and ever, Amen.