Say Kid, You Wanna Buy a Monkey?

No, but seriously – who wants to proofread a novel? (the inflection of that last sentence is identical to the one where you say, “who wants chocolate chip COOKIES?”) A novel which is mine. It’s not a new one. It’s the old one. The one that I’ve been saying was crap. It wasn’t crap. Just parts. Those parts have been cut. So now it’s much shorter on crap and just plain shorter in general. So you can read it in, like, two days. If you do want to proofread it, email me at (start magi-text) spikedotdunnatgmaildotcom (end magi-text now). Jonnie, who has been kind enough to read the damn thing about a billion times and done a smashing job of it, has discovered that hidden deep within the recesses of MS WORD is an option called “Comment.” It’s under “Insert.” This allows the reader to point out my obvious flaws and mock me for it without actually changing the text, thus forcing me to confront my demons myself. My therapist assures me that this is the proper thing to do. She does however, also force me to wear women’s shoes and recite the pledge of allegiance at the start of every session, so I do wonder about her efficacy at times. Also, if possible, I’m trying to figure out a “blurb” of about 200 words as they say in the “biz.” If anyone can figure out one for this thing, he or she will get a cookie (subject to taxation in the state of New York, offer void to anyone that does not live in my immediate vicinity and cannot supply the cookie themselves – I’m not supporting any damn, dirty hippies).

PS – does anyone know any literary agents? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? …damn, dirty hippies…